(Note: This is for ladies only. If you are a guy, you can scroll off. Thank you!)
Now ladies let’s talk.
“Henry, I have a dream guy,”
“I love Mr A so much, but he is not just looking at my direction.”
“I sense he is the ONE. But you know, ladies can’t do the toasting (or proposal).”
Then Read on patiently
Still read on, its not like you are so busy na.
Because in our society, It is considered cheap, inappropriate, unethical, intimidating and self downgrading on the part of the lady.
I don’t know, most likely Culture
We now say it is the man that should find the woman and INITIATE the LOVE process, the lady should just sit down and wait.?
“Adam was the one that found Eve not vice versa.” You might say.
Cant she reveal her feelings as regards the person she desires?
Can’t she make her choice first?
This idea could find it origin from the Hebraic CULTURE (in Bible days) or any other culture but not from God’s WORD.
Are they not also going to pass through the same series of marital challenge the men passes through?
Are you saying I should go to the guy and say
“hey guy, you look sweet. Marry me!”.
Nooo abeg o, I didn’t say that.?
Not because she is not beautiful o or not good enough for me but because I feel I should be the striker here not the keeper or defender.
I call it the RUTHISH APPROACH.
Pls make sure that the following points are settled first.
It is not a do or die affair. At the end of the day, He might not feel the same way you feel about him.
You should first of all be sure you have an healthy self image and self esteem. Develop your self-esteem first.
Is your desire not self centered.
Why do you want him? Because of his high social status and profile? because you want to get his money? Because he is handsome?
Marriage is a very critical subject and it should not be taken lightly at all.
Be convinced, Not “he is my crush, he is my dream guy bla bla bla”.?
Get over the “crushes” and infatuations, they are just feelings, weak foundations upon which people build relationships.
Infatuation, feelings fades away as fast as they appear, but true love based on conviction and choice stands forever.
If he is not more than a crush, get serious and move on with your life.
Marital relationship is far beyond all those childish nonsensicality. ??
It does not mean lure, seduce, or manipulate the guy to come to you. (These acts are ungodly and immoral).?
• EARNING your Mr Right, ?
• Strategically POSITIONING yourself to be of an INDISPENSABLE value to him
• Proving beyond all reasonable doubt that the relationship between the two of you is the BEST FOR BOTH OF YOU.
Introducing the great grandma of Jesus our saviour. She produced some of the greatest men in the world like David, Solomon, Jesus. She is a big role model for women of every generation.
But do you know what?
Thank God she did.
Ruth positioned herself rightly by starting to work on Boaz field with all humility.
Shrewdly Position yourself around him.
Probably become a friend of his friend, attend some programs he organized or co-organized, Visit his church or department.
Ruth met Mr Boaz and they got TALKING.
Become his friend, I mean a sincere friend. Not just by following him around like an idle goat looking for food.??
I mean add value to his life, find ways to be of an INDISPENSABLE VALUE to him.
Find what he values, his interest and passion. Every man loves that woman who acknowledges and respects his passion.
But do this because he has become your friends and friends should be there for one another.
You see, relationship is not all about “What Will I get from it?” but “What will I give to it?”
That’s not toasting o. ?
And If you are too SHY or too PROUD to approach directly, do it INDIRECTLY.
I tell you, by the time you reach there you would have become friends.
Ruth didn’t make any decision on her own, in fact it was all Naomi’s idea.
But I am not taking about those classmates or neighbours that know almost nothing about God’s plan/principles for love relationship o.
Have a mentor, mother, or spiritual mother or sister that will put rightly advise you. And probably caution you if you are making a mistake
After a some time of friendship (length of time I can’t really prescribe), tell him about your feelings for him.
It’s no big deal, simply tell him how you feel, be as plain and sincere as possible.
Ruth did it, you can do it
Don’t say, “Sam I want you to marry me,” That’s his job na
Instead say “Sam, I like you, you are such a good guy. A kind guy I can say yes to if he proposes” ?? (Right now am thinking, “Henry where did you get this idea? you are a genius”)
Whatever comes out of this, just know that you have not committed any offense or sin by expressing your mind.
Pls note that, Because it worked for Ruth doesn’t mean it will “work” for you.
If he later proposed or decided to, Accept my big CONGRATULATIONS.?
If he didn’t feel the same you feel about him, accept my CONDOLENCE and move on with your life. . . ?
Either way, you “win”, Don’t feel bad at all.
It is not a sin to ask questions like “where are we going with this relationship? “
And don’t let him chase away from you marriageable prospects and capitalize on your destiny when he is not even ready to be part of it.
Believe me, someone out there is dying to have you. Shine your eyes . ??
At this point my finger are killing me with ache, I believe your eyes might be hurting from too much reading too.
So Go and take actions.