GETTING THE GUY YOU WANT: The RUTHISH Formula

GETTING THE GUY YOU WANT: The RUTHISH Formula

(Note: This is for ladies only. If you are a guy, you can scroll off. Thank you!)
Now ladies let’s talk.
“Henry, I have a dream guy,”
“I love Mr A so much, but he is not just looking at my direction.”
“I sense he is the ONE. But you know, ladies can’t do the toasting (or proposal).”

“I feel convicted he is my “God’s will”, but he is not sensitive enough to know as well.”
“I really love him but I can’t tell him how I feel, I will look cheap, or uncultured.”
Did I just read your mind?
Yes?
Then Read on patiently
No?
Still read on, its not like you are so busy na.
We all know that, unlike guys, ladies in this part of the world are not “permitted” to PROPOSE to the guy they like and want.
Why?
Because in our society, It is considered cheap, inappropriate, unethical, intimidating and self downgrading on the part of the lady.
But where did all these lopsided philosophy and aphorism come from?
The Bible?
No.
What is it then?
I don’t know, most likely Culture
I know at this point you might start racking your brain for those bible verses to prove that this biased aphorism is biblical.
Like proverbs, “He that finds a wife finds a good thing”.
We now say it is the man that should find the woman and INITIATE the LOVE process,  the lady should just sit down and wait.?
“Adam was the one that found Eve not vice versa.” You might say.
But does this mean a Lady who is READY and RIPE doesn’t have the right to express her feelings?
Cant she reveal her feelings as regards the person she desires?
Can’t she make her choice first?
Go and read your bible again, God never limited the LOVE LIFE initiation to the man alone, they both should be involved in the ignition of the process.
Read the SONGS OF SOLOMON, read RUTH.
This idea could find it origin from the Hebraic CULTURE (in Bible days) or any other culture but not from God’s WORD.
So If we will not be biased, if we will not have our minds and judgement clouded by cultural or religious aphorisms, we will admit that ladies have RIGHT to REVEAL and CHOOSE the love partner of their choice as much as the men.
Are they not also going to pass through the same series of marital challenge the men passes through?
“So tell me Henry how will I now do the “toasting”?
Are you saying I should go to the guy and say
“hey guy, you look sweet. Marry me!”.
Nooo abeg o, I didn’t say that.?
You see, men are wired to be the striker in the game of love, we want to be the one that initiate the process, the one that will run and catch the girl because our natural egoistic energy needs to be boosted in the process.
For example, If a girl comes to me now and ask “Henry, will you marry me?”
I will be like
“what the…?!??‍”
Not because she is not beautiful o or not good enough for me but because I feel I should be the striker here not the keeper or defender.
“SO HOW SHOULD I DO IT?”
This it:
I call it the RUTHISH APPROACH.
Do you remember the story of Ruth in the Bible? Go and it again if you can’t remember
But before I go into the formula in details, let me lay some very important foundations.
Pls make sure that the following points are settled first.
1. Don’t be DESPERATE
It is not a do or die affair. At the end of the day, He might not feel the same way you feel about him.
In fact, It is not relationally healthy for you to be desperate or obsessed with a guy, in the name of falling in love, that’s ridiculous.
He is not angel Micheal now, Why should you kill yourself over a guy?. And he might not even be the perfect match (God’s will) for you.
2. Check your SELF ESTEEM.
An important thing is your confidence…Are you confident in yourself.
You should first of all be sure you have an healthy self image and self esteem. Develop your self-esteem first.
3. Critically SCRUTINIZE your  “desire” for him

Is your desire not self centered.
Why do you want him? Because of his high social status and profile? because you want to get his money? Because he is handsome?

Examine if your desire accommodates his own well being as well, don’t be self centered or parasitic in a relationship?
4. Are you even WORTHY of him?
Ask yourself will it be a fair negotiation if this guy eventually married me? Will my character and way of life make or mare his reputation?
5. Be CONVICTED he is the ONE
PRAY, PRAY and be LEAD. We are talking about a life time matter here.
Marriage is a very critical subject and it should not be taken lightly at all.
Be convinced, Not “he is my crush, he is my dream guy bla bla bla”.?
Get over the “crushes” and infatuations, they are just feelings, weak foundations upon which people build relationships.
Infatuation, feelings fades away as fast as they appear, but true love based on conviction and choice stands forever.
If he is not more than a crush, get serious and move on with your life.
Marital relationship is far beyond all those childish nonsensicality. ??
Having settled and laid down all these foundational ethos, how do you “get him?”
I am careful about the phrase “GET THE GUY”.
It does not mean lure, seduce, or manipulate the guy to come to you. (These acts are ungodly and immoral).?
With the phrase “GETTING THE GUY”  I mean:
• EARNING your Mr Right, ?
•  Strategically POSITIONING yourself to be of an INDISPENSABLE value to him
•  Proving beyond all reasonable doubt that the relationship between the two of you is the BEST FOR BOTH OF YOU.
RUTHISH FORMULA
Introducing the great grandma of Jesus our saviour. She produced some of the greatest men in the world like David, Solomon, Jesus. She is a big role model for women of every generation.
But do you know what?
She did the toasting.??
Thank God she did.
How?
1. Right POSITIONING.
Ruth positioned herself rightly by starting to work on Boaz field with all humility.
Shrewdly Position yourself around him.
Probably become a friend of his friend, attend some programs he organized or co-organized, Visit his church or department.
2.  ACQUAINT yourself with & BEFRIEND him.
Ruth met Mr Boaz and they got TALKING.
Become his friend, I mean a sincere friend. Not just by following him around like an idle goat looking for food.??
I mean add value to his life, find ways to be of an INDISPENSABLE VALUE to him.
Find what he values, his interest and passion. Every man loves that woman who acknowledges and respects his passion.
Note: don’t do this because he is your heart desire and you want him to love and marry you. (That will be a bad and selfish motive to build a relationship with).
But do this because he has become your friends and friends should be there for one another.
You see, relationship is not all about “What Will I get from it?” but “What will I give to it?”
And if he has not yet become your friend, simply approach him directly and say “I like your style, can we be friends?”
That’s not toasting o. ?
And If you are too SHY or too PROUD to approach directly, do it INDIRECTLY.
Like “hello bro, are you going to the school library? Lemme me walk you there, I also want to pick a book”
I tell you, by the time you reach there you would have become friends.
Note again, it is not moral, nor Christlike for you to seduce him. Pls never resort to that or else you will be nothing but a sex object. And you be relevant only for sexual gratification in future.
3. Carry your MENTOR along

Ruth didn’t make any decision on her own, in fact it was all Naomi’s idea.
But I am not taking about those classmates or neighbours that know almost nothing about God’s plan/principles for love relationship o.
Have a mentor, mother, or spiritual mother or sister that will put rightly advise you. And probably caution you if you are making a mistake

4. Take ACTION (but patiently enough)
Ruth proposed indirectly, by revealing her desires to Boaz.
After a some time of friendship (length of time I can’t really prescribe), tell him about your feelings for him.
It’s no big deal, simply tell him how you feel, be as plain and sincere as possible.
Ruth did it, you can do it
Don’t say, “Sam I want you to marry me,” That’s his job na
Instead say “Sam, I like you, you are such a good guy. A kind guy I can say yes to if he proposes” ?? (Right now am thinking, “Henry where did you get this idea? you are a genius”)
Whatever comes out of this, just know that you have not committed any offense or sin by expressing your mind.
What if it didn’t WORK?
Pls note that, Because it worked for Ruth doesn’t mean it will “work” for you.
My dear sister, please make sure your dream guy does not put you in the dark after you have made your feelings known.
He needs to come up with a Yes I will propose or No you are NOT MY TYPE answer or at least give an expression of either.
If he later proposed or decided to, Accept my big CONGRATULATIONS.?
If he didn’t feel the same you feel about him, accept my CONDOLENCE and move on with your life. . . ?
Either way, you “win”, Don’t feel bad at all.
Pls don’t just assume that you are his future partner o. Or else one day you will just receive his WEDDING IV and your name is NOT there. . ??‍?
It is not a sin to ask questions like “where are we going with this relationship? “
If he says an outright NO or made an expression of disapproval, Pls go and start another round of prayer for future partner. Don’t hang there forever o
And don’t let him chase away from you marriageable prospects and capitalize on your destiny when he is not even ready to be part of it.
Believe me, someone out there is dying to have you. Shine your eyes . ??
At this point my finger are killing me with ache, I believe your eyes might be hurting from too much reading too.
So Go and take actions.

This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Wow.
    Thanks.
    More knowledge in Jesus nane

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